Sensitive New Age Guys

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[This song is really in D, I think. I play it in A, capoed up five frets.

Turns out Christine probably plays in it D (capo 2). I've written the

chords down in A; if you want Christine's chords, buy her songbook.]

Okay everybody, it's time for a little sing-along, but just

for you guys out there, all right? This is called "Sensitive

New Age Guys" and wherever you are right now, riding in your

car or lying on the beach with your Walkman on, please sing

along on this song, it'll help you with your male bonding

kind of thing. And to help you, I've rounded up every

sensitive guy I could find in New York City tonight, so you

just sing along with them, please, don't be shy!

A Bbo Bm7 E

Who like to talk about their feelings?

(Sensitive new age guys)

A Bbo Bm7 E

Who's into crystals, into healing?

(Sensitive new age guys)

A Bbo Bm7 E

Who like to dress like Richard Simmons?

(Sensitive new age guys)

A Bbo Bm7 E

Who are hard to tell from women?

(Sensitive new age guys)

Who like to cry at weddings, who think "Rambo" is upsetting?

B7 (tacet) B7 (tacet)

Who tapes "Thirtysomething" on their VCR's?

E7 F7 E7 A Bbo Bm7 E (etc.)

Who's got "Child on Board" stickers on their cars?

Whose last names are hyphenated?

(Sensitive new age guys)

Who loved "Three Men and a Baby", a movie I hated?

(Sensitive new age guys)

Who's consciousness is constantly raising?

(Sensitive new age guys)

Yet whose tax-free income is amazing?

(Sensitive new age guys)

Who thinks that red meat is disgusting?

Who's into UFO's, channelling, and dusting?

Who believes us when we say we've got pre-menstrual syndrome?

Who doesn't know who plays in the Seattle Kingdome?

Lots of guys don't know who plays in the Seattle Kingdome...

guys not into brutal, violent contact sports. Lets ask these

sensitive guys right here... hey guys, do you know who plays

in the Seattle Kingdome?

[Guys:] (Mumble, mumble...) Andreas Vollenweider?

Ooo, good answer, good answer!

A Bbo Bm7 E

Who likes music that's repetitious?

Amaj7 C#m Cm Bm Bbm <--- [NOTE: I only put the chords in

(Sensitive new age guys) for this section because of

A Bbo Bm7 E these Bbm's.]

Who likes music that's repetitious? /

Amaj7 C#m Cm Bm Bbm <--

(Sensitive new age guys)

A Bbo Bm7 E

Who's concerned about your orgasm?

Amaj7 C#m Cm Bm (trails off)

[silence]

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys said you'd

help me out on this song...what's going on?!

[Guys:] Well, we're sensitive, Christine -- but not THAT sensitive!

A Bbo Bm7 E

Well, I guess it's more important that they have 'em

(Sensitive new age guys)

Who carries the baby on his back?

Who thinks Shirley McLaine is on the inside track?

Who always sings on sing-alongs even when they

Can't stand stupid sing-along songs? [repeat intro for next part:]

Well, yes, I could tell a lot of you guys out there really

hated this song. Not all of you sang, but a lot of you did

'cause it was a sing-along and you didn't want to hurt my

feelings. 'Cause you know what that's like...'cause you've

had your feelings hurt so many times, 'cause you're so

sensitive!

Amaj7 C#m Cm Bm Bbmaj7 Amaj7.

Yes, you're sensitive... (New age guys!)

[Guys:] Christine, I... I think I found my R-spot.

Thanks for sharing, dude.

- Adam Schneider, schneider@pobox.com